Resources
10 Ways to Help You Heal, Grow, and Recreate
Your Life:
1) Join a Group… You are not alone! The end of an intimate relationship can be a confusing, trying, and complicated time. A support group offers a safe place for you to discuss your fears, troubles, hopes, and dreams with people who share your concerns. The power of a group can be profound in times of grief, loss, and transformation.
2) Cultivate a supportive group of friends… Make plans to spend time with a friend at least once a week. You may tend to isolate in situations of loss and grief. Connecting with those you care for and who care for you is a great reminder that you matter.
3) Get a little exercise every day… No matter how difficult it may seem when times are hard, getting a little exercise each day can be very helpful. Going for a short walk, even for just five minutes every day, can make a significant difference physically, emotionally, and mentally.
4) Start a daily gratitude journal… Every day write down three things that you are grateful for in your life (i.e. I am grateful for my cat, I am grateful to be warm, I am grateful for my health, etc.). Gratitude is an effective antidote to depression.
5) Volunteer your time… Volunteering is a miraculous act! Reaching out in this way can help you meet people, create new friendships, and soothe feelings of isolation and helplessness. Helping others can foster feelings of self-worth and value. Contact that organization you've always wanted to check out or in the SF Bay Area contact: www.volunteerinfo.org , http://www.handsonbayarea.org , or www.thevolunteercenter.net for local volunteering opportunities.
6) Perform an anonymous act of kindness… Perform one anonymous act of kindness each day. Reaching out in a very small way to help another can remind you that life is much bigger than your problems and that this difficult time will eventually pass. Drop a quarter in someone's parking meter. Buy a flower for a stranger. Help someone carry their load. Smile at a child.
7) Be kind to yourself… What delights you? How can you best care for yourself? Buy fresh flowers. Stroll down the beach. Listen to your favorite music. Take yourself out for coffee. Go to a movie. Go window-shopping. Handwrite a note of appreciation. Choose one thing you can do each day to love yourself well and then… just do it!
8) Strive to accept your feelings… Intense feelings are normal and are to be expected when a relationship ends. Mood swings are normal. Feeling like you are going crazy is normal. Being profoundly distraught is normal. These are hard feelings. They are your feelings. Honor yourself by honoring your feelings. Allow yourself to feel your life intensely. Adjusting to the end of a relationship is a process, and you will make it through this time. Remember… This too shall pass.
9) Consider individual counseling or psychotherapy… As your heart breaks, you are broken open. This opening presents a great and unique opportunity for you to heal, grow, and recreate your life. The support and guidance of a therapist can be a valuable resource to you as you navigate the challenges facing you. It may be the greatest gift you give yourself during this time… a wise and caring ally.
10) Breathe... You will get through this! This process can be difficult yet you can make the choice to survive, thrive, and create an amazing life.
Books
Rebuilding - B. Fisher & R. Alberti
Crazy Time - A. Trafford
The Good Divorce - C. Ahrons
The Power of Now - E. Tolle
Loving What Is- Byron Katie
The Gift - Hafiz
An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.
~ Byron Katie
Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field. I'll meet you there. Where the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language even the phrase each other doesn't make sense.
~ Rumi
There is no one in this world who is not upon His jeweled dance floor.
~ Hafiz
In the end what you don't surrender, the world just strips away.
~ Bruce Springsteen
